Material Six

Yes, I felt like I didn’t get very personal yesterday, talking about Thanksgiving in the nicest possible way. Ugh.  Thanksgiving. It used to be my favorite holiday until I met, via TV and magazines, Martha Stewart. Martha. What did you do? So, I’m bringing in an idea of what I might use to explain Material Six, or the Six of Pentacles.

No one told me I had to do this to myself, but I took it on. The perfect, unique Thanksgiving. I did not do it just once. I did it many times. I would say this is a reversal of what could be behind Material Six. The battle within to be enough, to not be a beggar, to be so generous as to hide the neediness inside. Yeah. 

My Thanksgivings are perfectly exhausting is what they are in truth. I don’t do them anymore. In fact, to be honest, I am playing hookie with my husband from Thanksgiving. Let’s start there so you understand that I have grown out of old ideas now, and can look back at the extravagances I presented as nothing but perfectionism wrapped around me not like garlands, but like very tight ropes. I was showing off. 

Yes, I could outdo anyone on Thanksgiving, but was it giving or was it taking? It confused me. I’ll tell you my Thanksgiving table was unique and beautiful, a combination of whatever I was into or who my guests were. Sometimes, because it coincided with my mom’s birthday, there were gift bags full of Milagros and other good luck symbols, then we would have a Mesoamerican style meal. Sometimes I would pile tables together to make a square and seat 12 people in a square with the center being tall gladiolas and below it a spread of shell fish you wouldn’t believe, with each plate there was a drawn Tarot Card, and I would not tell anyone where to seat themselves. We would start the meal with a reading. OMG! Not that I hadn’t been cooking for DAYS.

The craziest Thanksgiving may have been putting together my former families at one gigantic table 24 people with completely opposing beliefs. Why? A hat passed with gratitude notes written by each person and read by another. A Jewish guy reading a Thanks for Jesus note, for instance. Why? Wasn’t thinking the whole thing through obviously.

Going to other Thanksgivings was not better for me. These were bad times when I had nothing to give, but still made things I didn’t want to make and did not receive very well. I really simply wanted to cry. In other words, my giving and receiving was all a muck. Either I was taking in my giving or giving in my receipt. This is what I believe the Material Six card will be about, perhaps, in reverse. I don’t know how I’ll find a visual image for it, but I’ll receive it. I really will. 

This is for all of us who hide from Thanksgiving because we haven’t worked it quite out.

The story starts here in my paradise where I think I've healed as much as I will heal from my brain surgery, and I am close to having an empty nest. I'm *finally* setting a goal to use twelve months for a single project. My goal? To see if I can pull in my focus to create a world of Tarot for you. Find out how an esoteric writer and artist pivots from indecision to decision by putting her skills together.

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