Knowing the Future

As much as I’d love to say that Tarot has the power to predict, it does not. 2019 was a difficult year. It ALWAYS surprises me. I start out thinking that I’m going to get back into the swing of life, and then something, usually bits and pieces of my body tell me otherwise. You would think at 55 that I would know the story. Nope.

So, how does one deal with set backs and patterns that are in conflict with plans? Resilience has become my middle name. If I continue to be taken down, I must continue to get up. That’s that, otherwise what is life for?

Is it possible to grow through resilience? Absolutely. Simply put, growth is not what it used to be and that is okay. Growing through resilience is about determination, strength building and creativity. Let me give you an example.

I had two surgeries on my brain and several dental surgeries last year. That’s really hard on my body. I had another grand mal seizure, too. I could have really crawled into my bed and wept over it, but my goal of 2019 had been to take care of my body. Taking care of my body remarkably has not always been a priority. In fact, I probably spent most of my life dragging my body through my emotional and mental lives as if it were a beat up suitcase on squeaky wheels. No matter how well the other parts of me were getting on my body was beat up and I had ignored it.

Taking an interest in my body was incredibly challenging work on its own. Then to add a growing tumor, rotten teeth, pain and a seizure to the mix it sometimes seemed an impossible task to stay on board. However, I chose to pay attention at least. It took me all the way to October to realize that if I was going to take care of my body, I actually had to move, watch what I was eating, drink water and breathe. You’d think those would be a natural progression once I decided but for 10 months I had been non-compliant. Finally, in October I decided that I wanted to lose weight.

Having a goal that was clear-ish and included those four things – move, watch what I ate, drink water and breathe — I decided I actually needed help and I splurged on an app to guide me. Oh my goodness! The thing about an app on the phone you take everywhere is that it is constantly with you to remind you of your goal. Brilliant. I went into the app #Noom right away and lost several pounds in a few weeks and was excited until my body, the one thing I was paying attention to, pulled me down. I had a week of migraines and then a grand mal seizure while at a hospital listening to a radiologist tell me about the Gamma Knife surgery I had to look forward to in December.

Resilience is my middle name. I could have quit, but I did not quit. I also did not lose weight for a while. I didn’t lose weight because I was reeling from the hit, but I did not quit. I just paid attention to the fact that I needed rest and I needed to drink water and I needed to breathe, more than I needed to move and watch what I ate. I didn’t gain the weight back either! I chilled out. I moved back into moving slowly. It was Thanksgiving and I ordered food because I felt like cooking was unrealistic. I canceled some events, fearlessly faicing other’s disappointment. I was in need of rest more that I was in need of the holidays. Resilience is often about disappointing others, I’ve learned through the years.

What Tarot cards might reflect these aha’s in a reading? The main cards I can think of are Strength, Justice, and The Moon. Minor Arcana cards, as in those habits, could be 9 of Wands, 2 of Cups, 5 of Cups, 4 of Swords, 8 of Swords, and 4 and 5 of Pentacles. Each one of these cards tells a piece of the story of resilience. See if you can estimate how they respond.

So here we are more than a month into 2020, and this is what I know about the future. Making plans for my future as if I know what will happen hasn’t worked, but sticking to my goal is actually super helpful to being resilient. I’ve lost 12 lbs since October, had that Gamma Knife Surgery, and gotten through some side effects.

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