Inside Out

Before I go any further with creating this blog/website, the deck of cards and the writing, I feel it is necessary to explain myself on a particular point. You are beginning to see some differences between my deck and the traditional Tarot deck, and I don’t do this lightly. It may seem like a reversal, and that would be a logical way to look at it, but it is more like being inside and looking out, rather than outside looking in. This is typically a “feminine” way of observing the world. For the last thirty years, my studies have led me in this direction, for better or worse. From inside the Temple of Tarot, we are growing, evolving, and from the outside looking in we are seeing a way into the magic. We are growing internally to externally in Kosmic Egg Tarot, as it may have been before. The consequence of changing gender seems surface-y at first, but it is not so for me. 

The Sorceress for instance, as opposed to The Magician, is not less than. She is a Solar Goddess! She is equal but different. She uses magic perhaps in a subtle, yet a practical way. The actions she takes to change the world. As above, so below, but inside first then outside. The Hold Two card is not about young lovers, but now it is about the sustainable love and healing of older years, and yet we are always at the beginning. It makes sense that The Architect is initiated into the Temple and thus the shadows of the pillars are opposite because he is looking into the Temple, and permitting the initiates to go out into the world in service of the secrets learned inside.

We will carry on with these inside-out interpretations of the world of Kosmic Egg Tarot and discover what we discover. I have never done the entire deck this way, but I’ve started to read reversals in a regular Tarot deck as the “inner” work of the cards. It is very fulfilling to imagine the work this way, unready somehow for the external world, but profoundly alive. We are growing possiblissity inside the Egg.

Finally! At the Beginning.

If you are just joining me at Kosmic Egg Project, let me first welcome you to Tarot Possiblissities. I am so glad you have joined in. I hope many things forward:

  • You will read and learn a lot about Tarot and other things that you hadn’t been aware of before,
  • In my latest Tarot saga, you can find plenty to relate to and laugh with me, as I am, as all of us are, a Fool
  • Discover some answers to nagging questions about life’s mysteries,
  • Finally, that we can become friends in seeing the magic in our every day lives.

Please enjoy the journey and feel free to ask any questions,

If you are like me, with 20 decks collecting dust, or have only one deck well-worn with love, I want to welcome you, too. I very much hope that Kosmic Egg Project will provide a new perspective for you to put to work. I have every intention of breaking rules even as I value them so you have the chance to develop your own, unique understanding of the cards.

Even with so many years of working with Tarot, I am faced with a new question. Is it possible to write an autobiography with Tarot Cards? I mean that seriously. As I’ve said in other places I wanted to make these cards contemporary, as the Visconti deck was contemporary to its own time. I want the images to be recognizable yet sacred in an expression of a world I consider, though full of holes, holy.

This week I’ve been spending time creating design drafts and written drafts of what I hope will be a Kosmic Egg Tarot Deck and Book eventually. The\ five cards I worked on are “Aces”, four for each of the Lesser Mystery suits, and the One in the Greater Mystery suit. They are known traditionally as The Ace of Swords, Cups, Wands, and Pentacles, respectively. In this deck they will be known as Expression, Hold, Energy, and Material Aces. The Magician in most traditional decks is Male, but I have created my One in the Major Arcana to be a Sorceress.

So what is the Yang about Ones? Ones represent in Tarot a moment when we take action good or bad, light or heavy, here or there. We have exhaled air that will force the lungs to eventually inhale unless we are dead, but, still, something will happen. As mature women, we have already gone through many new beginnings, and we are acutely aware that to every beginning there is an ending. We sense a payment for every gift, if not now, then some other time. We have hit the ground running many times, and we know there is nothing necessarily masculine about it. That is partly why I’ve chosen to make the Major Arcana One a woman. She glows with power.

In each of the lesser mysteries, the Aces are a gift of that suit. In Kosmic Egg Tarot they might be seen as a bit different. For the “gift” they represent is overcoming something we were afraid of or avoided. By this time in our lives, this is what is precious, more precious than something purely new, is making new a vision of something old, or facing a deep fear. For instance, the Kosmic Egg Tarot is an old dream that I’m making new.

This is what I learned this week. One in Tarot’s Lesser and Greater Mysteries is not simply a gift, magic, destiny, sunshine that come along with no explanation. Sorceress is all grown up and faced many initiations, trials, and tribulations. One is about a new beginning, sure, but at any age, and in any gender. It is about recognizing our own i-magi-nation, or the Maji (Magician) within, and how many resources we have access to create our ever new reality. In Kosmic Egg Tarot we have faced some of our childish fears and some of our adult pains so that we can see the value in them so that we can turn the world upside down. In fact, an Ace could be called “failure” because that is a great gift to beginning the game again!  Life’s gifts often come from unexpected sources. Unworthy becomes worthy when we have new eyes when we’ve gone to a library that takes us beyond our knowing. We have finally closed the door on expectations, and opened a new door with a sign on it that says, “Play!”

The book will go into each card in depth and will include the traditional explanations for the cards, as well as my interpretations and the stories about how the drawings came to me.

In the coming weeks…

Yes, the HOLIDAYS are upon us. Through the years I have whittled away at their control of my time and energy. I have! My tree and decorations have been downsized to the mantel and can be put in a couple of shoe boxes. I do like the lights out on the porch. It is dark now for a few months. Any light is a helpful addition to my moods. 

Still, the energy I have in these dark months will likely be sucked up pretty easily, and since my energy is limited as it is, I am forgiving myself ahead of time if I do not post three or four times a week here. This is acceptance. I forgive you too, ahead of time, for not finishing everything you hoped for in the coming weeks and even months. You are forgiven. I am forgiven. We are all forgiven.

Let this absence not fool you though. In fact, I am working on Kosmic Egg Project every day. I have a plan! It is such a thrill because I have been known to daydream my way right out of projects like this many, many times. I am hopeful that having and acting on this plan will keep me on track for three months. 

This is the plan: A DRAFT/SKETCH of a card and what my intention for that card is each day. Not the perfect finished card and writing, but a real start. The way I will do the 5 cards (yes I get a weekend!) will be to draft up all the 1’s, then all the 2’s, then all the 3’s and so on. Obviously, I can only do this through 14 weeks (The Majors that can also include a card from each suit). After that, there will be 9 days (2 weeks)  to finish the remaining cards, plus the back-side.  Now we have to subtract Christmas and New Year’s and possibly December 21st and possibly a few others for obvious reasons, so I think it will work out okay.  In reality, we are looking at about four months.

It is excruciatingly hard to put my own goals first after years of just being happy to get dinner on the table and most of the laundry folded. The reason has been having my health surprise me over and over. In the few windows of wellness I’ve had, I have decided to get too much done and then had a health set back. So, thinking of drafts and sketches, I’m making sure I pace myself. Yes. Pacing. If it turns out to be too much to do 5 cards a week, I will cut that in half. Whatever I need to do to keep progress happening. The important thing is progress, and being honest and kind to my intentions and my own body.

Once I finish a draft/sketch of each and every one of them, then I will choose some of the best draft/sketch’s and build them up, polish them, and decide whether to submit them to one of the three major Tarot Publishers. That is a long way off. Maybe six months. Six months. Do you see how I started out with three months and now it is doubled, but I’m trying to gather around me and through me a reality where things get done. We don’t know what will come up between now and then. 

Meanwhile, I am taking some online writer’s classes, art branding studies, and Adobe Illustrator tutorials. I hope my website, drafts, and sketches will show all this increasingly. I feel thrilled by it all, and a little scared that the holidays will knock me out of this. Send prayers. I want to see this through. Do you know what I mean?